Pregnancy - Week 14 or 15

I don't know what's happened, but I've lost count of what week we're on. I knew this would happen, I'm such a div. what's more embarrassing is, it's on a calendar in the kitchen, barely 10 metres from where I'm sat and I still can't be bothered to go and check. That's how seriously I'm taking this shit.

So, week 14 or 15 whatever. Tanya has been feeling the baby move this week, I'm sure Scarlett didn't squirm around quite as much as bean is at this early a stage. It's mental. I tired to film it on my phone, but it didn't come out well, like Blair Witch Project meets Aliens. I'm not gonna lie, I don't like it. I could sit here and tell you how incredible it is, to see my unborn child moving around in the womb of my wife and it is,  but it's not my over riding feeling when I see it. It's more like, what the FUCK was that?! I don't need to see it and I think Tan knows it freaks me out a bit, which makes her a git. I know she hates raw cherry tomatoes, so I wouldn't call her in to the kitchen when I'm slicing some for a salad. It's just not cricket.

During a pregnancy I go through different emotional stages, much like a pregnant woman. It's never related to how my wife feels, so it's definitely not sympathy.

For example: the first few weeks after I find out we're expecting, it's 10% general trepidation, 15% fear and anxiety and 75% shitting all down myself. But that passes over fairly quickly and I become accustomed to my fate. After that initial spell, I go in to the chilled out, laid back, how hard can it be? Stage. Which is where I'm at now. I'm not sure how long it will last, but I like it and it's generally at the back of my mind. All I know is, it won't last forever and I'll enter the third TriMANster. This is the worst stage of the man pregnancy, all out doom and gloom and inconsolable misery as I await our  impending bundle of joy. I'm hoping as the baby is due at the end of January, that Christmas might take the edge off and bring me out of the funk, but I have my doubts as it's at my mother and father in laws this year. Christ.

For those interested in my sex anxiety whilst we're pregnant, I think I made big steps towards a cure this week and I didn't have to turn off the lights or wear a blindfold. I had a talk to myself, "STOP BEING SO IRRATIONAL" I shouted somewhat irrationally and it seemed to work, I got my mind on the job in hand, got my finish time back to sub 5 minutes and it meant Tan could catch the end of Look East on the telly. Everyone's a winner.

Anyway, as I write this, Tan is out shopping. And I've bathed and put Scarlett to bed, all the time, wondering and imagining having another child to deal with in this scenario and I had an idea. I will always pretend I only have one child. It's not that hard, whichever one I'm not parenting at any given moment will be hog tied in the kitchen sink. Kids love apples.

Good night.

Mark